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OK, I need to catch my breath, because the funniest thing to happen in showbiz since Sigfried and Roy admitting they were gay, as if it were news, occurred today. Barry Manilow, Queen of Soft Rock, backed out of an appearance on The View because he refused to be on the same stage as Elizabeth Hasselbeck. He is quoted as saying:

I strongly disagree with her views. I think she’s dangerous and offensive. I will not be on the same stage as her.

Immediately following his statement, Manilow turned on point, clicked his chunky heels together, threw his scarf behind his neck, and huffed away from the microphone in a dazzling display of bitchiness and glitter. I mean, seriously, he’s throwing down with an intellectual giant like Elizabeth Hasselbeck? That’s a bit like taking on that guy who played in Ernest Goes to Camp. It’s just too easy. What’s next…a political debate with Britney Spears?

Although Hasselbeck has yet to be reached for comment, I’m going to assume it will end with “…because that’s what George Bush told me to think.”