5 Geeky Popcorn Buckets You’d Love To Put Your Grubby Hands Into

Popcorn is the most delicious (non-female) thing to have sitting in the seat next to you at a movie.  I bought two tickets before I knew that my date was going to stand me up, so why not take up a seat with my huge bucket of popcorn?  Yes, folks, we have gone so far down the path of obesity that we now call them “buckets.”  Ironic, isn’t it, how we can walk so far down the path of obesity and not be getting any exercise?

These five geeky popcorn buckets are the most awesome innovations when it comes to high-tech chemical compounds that have the ability to retain popcorn in a reservoir that allows for simple extraction.  Translation: it makes it easier for you to eat things.Continue Reading

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6 Things That Will Help You Stuff Your Face

Eating can be difficult sometimes, especially following chronic periods of eating.  (By chronic, I mean twenty years, because I can set drinks on my man boobs and still get the straw into my mouth.)  You need to bake your own treats, cut your own meats, and eat your own beets, but these six wonderful things will help you stuff your face at your convenience!  They all facilitate eating, and thus they are all awesome.

1.  Butter Cutter Gives Perfect Squares

butter cutter

When a delicious piece of toast gets set on my plate, my stomach grumbles and I’m ready for some serious tastiness.  I pick up the butter knife with my sausage fingers, and then end up smearing it all over in odd chunks.  With the butter cutter, your body will still look like an assortment of odd chunks, but your butter won’t!  Get that perfect square of butter every time without fail, and your toast will be much better, allowing you to stuff your face more conveniently.  Innovation!Continue Reading

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7 Creepy Representations of Iconic Video Game Characters

I will preface this article with a simple statement: this stuff is weird.  I’m just going to let everyone know up front that they may never see some of their favorite game characters the same way ever again.  Video game characters don’t always translate well when you bring them into the real world, and oftentimes you end up with an abomination on your hands.  These seven creepy representations of iconic video game characters are some of the weirdest you’ve seen.  Ever.

Note: if there are even weirder depictions, don’t tell me about them, because I will tear out my eyes.Continue Reading

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5 Of The Stupidest Places To Put QR Codes

QR codes can be great marketing tools if they are used correctly.  The only problem: it turns out that many marketers are morons, and that we have no idea how to think.  When a marketer is going to implement some kind of initiative, he should think about how the customer is going to feel.  Heck – ask your mom and she would tell you that you need to think up a new plan.Continue Reading

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5 Women of The Geeky Realm That I’d Like To Date

We geeky types watch TV, play video games, and spend hours on the computer, but real life interaction is not an area that we’re known to excel in. Thankfully, others have recognized this need and have crafted plenty of jaw-dropping, fictional women, which they have stuffed in books, movies, and video games for us to enjoy. These five women of the geeky realm are ones that I would like to date, and many of them come from video games. (These so-called “video games” make it easy for the designers to skip that whole “human imperfection” thing and start creatin’ us some beautiful women with rough and tumble personalities.)Continue Reading

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Ode To The Public Transport Wizard

Whilst scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed this afternoon I came across this little gem on the site ‘I know this great little place in London’. It was a picture of what looked like classified section of a newspaper and it read;

‘To the man who got on the bus dressed as a wizard who removed the chip from his Oyster card and put it in a magic wand, I salute you. Tom, London.’

The website posted this picture just 24 hours ago and it has already received nearly 3000 shares, though I have absolutely no way of knowing when the add was posted in the newspaper or indeed when the Public Transport Wizard dazzled bus goers with his Oyster-infused magic wand, I really want to find the guy!

I mean, what an ingenious idea, I love it when people take fancy dress to new levels and would be interested in meeting the Public Transport Wizard to find out if that’s what he was doing. The other possibility one would have to consider is that maybe he didn’t sit there for hours dissecting his Oyster card and supergluing it to his wand…Maybe he’s an actual wizard, with a working wand? Although the chances for that are minimal – if he was a real wizard, he probably wouldn’t need to get the bus!

Whatever the case, I think he’s brilliant, so Buzz Patrol readers, help me find the Public Transport Wizard so I can bring him in for an interview (and perhaps attempt to steal his wand when he isn’t looking). Share this story and leave comment if you have seen him or think you know his identity!

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Nice Lightning Tattoo

Winston Kemp was struck by lightning last year and the incident left him with a cool tattoo-like markings called Lichtenberg figures or lightning trees. Apparently, he didn’t realise he’d been struck during a late spring storm until the marks appeared on his arm an hour later, and he didn’t seek medical attention, since there were no side effects but a sore arm.Continue Reading

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McDonalds On The Mountainside And Other Bizarre Fast Food Locations

Those fast food giants are everywhere these days, if you’re in a city in the western world, the chances are you won’t have to go very far if you are trying to find one.

Some of the bigger shopping centres and malls even have two, three or sometimes four McDonald’s restaurants each! Every now and then though, you come across one somewhere, and think to yourself, ‘hmmmm, that really doesn’t look like it belongs there’, and as those fast food monoliths look to spread their wings and find places to put their restaurants to reach even more potential customers, the appearance of fast food chains in strange places, are on the increase!

Minyanville published a list of the 10 most bizarre fast food locations, below are the ones I felt were the weirdest! Continue Reading

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Japanese Man is World’s Best Masturbator


His name is Masanobu Sato and he is Japanese.

Sato is very good at wanking. He is so good that he has held the World Champion Masturbator title since 2008, with his most recent award-winning session lasting 9 hours, 59 minutes.

This Japanese wanker is a regular participant in San Francisco’s annual Masturbate-a-Thon. Yes, there is such an event.

Amazingly, Sato has live in girlfriend, who helps him out sometimes..not with the sex bit but by tracking the time on her phone.

She doesn’t like sex. She prefers sewing dresses. Therefore Sato must depend on what she calls his “hobby” to satisfy his desires.

I wonder if he gets “penis elbow”.

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