Today’s tale of totally dumb crime comes from Osceola in Florida, where 20-year old Milton Hodges was arrested after robbing a Lowes home improvement store and then stealing a golf cart from a nudist colony to use as a getaway car.
Hodges, who has several other convictions on his record – allegedly threatened Lowes cashiers with scissors to the neck. He was chased out of the store and tried to make his escape by jumping over a wall into the Cypress Bay Nudist Resort. It is then reported that Hodges threatened a resident of the colony with a knife before stealing a golf cart from a security guard to make his escape.
By that point however, cops were already on the scene and arrested Hodges at gunpoint. It will come as no surprise to any of you that the golf cart didn’t exactly provide Hodges with the speediest means to make a getaway – I mean weren’t there any nearby milk floats he could have nabbed in instead? Or failing that, maybe he could have robbed some rollerblades from an unsuspecting skater – they probably would have provided quicker exit than the golf cart!
As well as picking a means of transportation, which honestly speaking, is never going to feature in its own ‘The Fast and the Furious’ movie, Hodges also made the fatal error of trying to camouflage himself in a nudist colony!! Being one of the only people there who was clothed, police didn’t exactly have much trouble spotting him!
Hodges has a string of other convictions on his record, has spent time in jail for armed robbery and for attacking someone with a Pepsi can (interesting choice of weapon). I think someone might need to have a few words with young Hodges and try to convince him that it might be time to give up a life of crime, aside from the fact that it is wrong – it is also painfully obvious that he isn’t very good at it!!