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Half of all malfunctioning products returned to stores by consumers are in full working order, but customers can’t figure out how to operate the devices, a scientist said on Monday.

I don’t need a scientist to tell me that I’m an idiot for not being able to figure out where the CD goes into my iPod. Apple should really make it clearer. Like, they should label the CD slot “CD GOES IN HERE” or something. I mean, I just can’t wait to see how the CD gets sucked into the iPod… it’s so small! I bet it actually wraps up your CD inside it like a fajita or something.

QT was on Jimmy Kimmel live last night, and amidst an amusing post-Pulp Fiction Oscar story concerning Courtney Love he gave his picks for top five movies of the year: “Sin City,” “Domino,” “Hustle & Flow,” and “Devil’s Rejects.” Oh, that’s only four. To make up for the missing fifth film he also claimed that between “Sin City” and “Domino” Mickey Rourke put on “the acting performance of the year.” I don’t have a lot to say on this one — Tarantino can say pretty much whatever he wants in my book. That said, at least he admitted that Rourke is pretty much an assclown.

A WB spokesman confirmed a TV Guide report on Friday that said the supernatural series, which stars Alyssa Milano, Rose McGowan and Holly Marie Combs, will end after eight seasons in May.

Don’t worry — you can still catch Alyssa Milano’s boobs in Charmed reruns on TNT and in the soft-core classic “Embrace of the Vampire.”

President Bush proposed a new law Monday that would help him curb spending by proposing vetoes of specific items in spending bills — authority that the Supreme Court struck down eight years ago but which would be structured differently under Bush’s plan.

Although I certainly don’t agree with a lot of the current administration’s policies, this actually makes sense.

The governor of South Dakota signed a law that bans nearly all abortions. Good thing god signed a law a long time ago called cold weather and boredom that meant pretty much no one lives in South Dakota.

Since ratings were low you probably didn’t see this gem from last night’s Academy Awards show. A montage of gay themed clips from classic westerns. I wish I knew how to quit you.

“The market forces that exist today make it unrealistic to spend $200 million on a movie,” said Lucas, a near-billionaire from his feverishly franchised outer-space epics. “Those movies can’t make their money back anymore. Look at what happened with ‘King Kong.’”

Technically King Kong has grossed nearly $550 million at the box office and was a money maker. Just technically though. Lucas says that in 2025 the average movie will only cost $15 million and that almost all movies that make it to theaters will be indie.

So the last spy shot of the rumored widescreen video iPod was a total hoax. We’re accepting bets on the validity of these new ones.