Soooo, we got bored and decided to come up with everything we could think of that you can do to entertain yourself in a movie theater besides watching the movie. Just a fair warning you might get you might get your ass kicked… enjoy

  1. If it’s a Disney film, go up to the projector room and replace the film with an adult film.
  2. Talk loudly to a friend. Whenever someone else makes the slightest noise, tell them they are inconsiderate little bastards for disrupting your viewing pleasure.
  3. Hum the theme song of the movie out loud.
  4. Make finger puppets in front of the projector.
  5. When gunshots ring out in the movie yell, “Bang! Bang!”
  6. Clap when the good guy gets killed.
  7. Make a noise like your passing gas and say, “Ahh….”
  8. Start wheezing and ask the person next to you if you can have some Juji Fruits for your asthma.
  9. During the previews, yell, “Can you fast forward it?”
  10. When the bad guy is about to do something devious, yell at the top of your lungs, “Watch out!”
  11. Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
  12. Tell the man selling popcorn that the girl’s bathroom is flooding.
  13. If you’ve seen the movie before, at the climax, yell out what happens next.

  14. Tell the man next to you that you have diarrhea and wink. ;)
  15. Wear a cape and when it’s your turn to get popcorn yell, “I’m Batman! Ha! Ha!” and run away.
  16. Yell, “FIRE!!!” and moon the people coming through the exit.
  17. Gently, very softly, place a single kernel of popcorn on the head of the man in front of you.
  18. Yell “Ow!” after every gunshot.
  19. Stand on your head in the aisle during the duration of the movie.
  20. Have a barbecue.
  21. Gargle your soft drink.
  22. Juggle.
  23. Bowl in the isle.
  24. Throw smoke grenades or let off a stink bomb or two.
  25. Say that this person can’t sit next to you because your invisible friend is sitting there.
  26. Scream out, “Hey, this isn’t Bambi!”
  27. Stare at the person sitting across the aisle from you, then quickly look back at the screen when they look at you. Then, when they turn away, stare again.
  28. See if you can get a sticky Juji fruit to stick to the screen.
  29. Inform the entire theater that you have to go to the bathroom. Wait a minute or so and tell everyone that you feel better now.
  30. Applaud.
  31. Laugh loudly during serious and sad scenes.
  32. Sing along with the background music.
  33. Whenever someone opens a door yell “Don’t go in there, he’s got a gun!”
  34. Snore.
  35. Yell “Hey, down in front!” even if you are sitting in the front.
  36. Make shadow puppets.
  37. If you’ve seen the movie before, say what’s going to happen right before it happens. Act amazed at your wonderful foresight.
  38. Walk around behind the screen. Jump through it. Run like hell.
  39. Pull out a squirt gun and shoot the “bad guys.” Tell people that you are a part of this new “live action” movie. Squirt any movie personnel telling you to stop.
  40. Read the credits out loud.
  41. Dress as a cheerleader. Keep the actors’ enthusiasm up.
  42. Stand by the screen and sign the movie.
  43. Rip off one end of a straw wrapper and blow in the straw. The wrapper will fly across the theater, hopefully hitting someone.
  44. (Variation of above) Dip the wrapper end in ketchup. This will make it a permanent part of the screen.
  45. Say “beep” loudly, or get creative with an air horn at every vulgarity. Tell those objecting that you are from the EPA here to stop noise pollution.
  46. Throw Runts at people so you can use the drive by fruiting joke.
  47. Sacrifice small furry creatures in the front of the theater.
  48. Sit by the aisle. Trip everyone that walks by.
  49. Walk in front of the screen, fall, and lay there for a few minutes. Then get up and go back to your seat as if nothing happened. Do it again every ten minutes.
  50. Play an appropriate instrument for the movie: western=banjo, comedy=kazoo, action=synthesizer or guitar, mystery=bad whistle, etc.
  51. Say the lines with the movie, in Swahili.
  52. Collect donations for charity.
  53. Bring a portable T.V. Watch the ball game. Cheer loudly.
  54. Aerosol can. Zippo. ’nuff said.
  55. Throw paper airplanes. Announce their take off like air traffic control personnel.
  56. Lighter + flash paper = fireballs!
  57. Play Battleship with someone across the theater.
  58. Wear a trench coat and sunglasses. Whenever someone enters or exits the theater ask to see their identification.
  59. Do shots.
  60. Eat a lot of beans or chili before the movie. Hope the theater is crowded.
  61. Leave death threats on various seats. Give sinister glances to people as they leave the theater.
  62. Break into a chorus of “I Will Survive” during climatic parts of the movie.
  63. Do some needlepoint. Suddenly yell “Ow! That hurt. Woah cool, it’s spurting.”
  64. Find the light switch. Turn the lights on.
  65. Throw water balloons.
  66. Bring lots of gerbils and mice. Think snowball fight.
  67. Have a friend call your cellphone every 5 minutes. Make sure it’s loud.
  68. Ask what the theater’s return policy on popcorn is.
  69. Every time there is a gun shot scream, “Hit the floor!”, jump on the floor, and cover your head.
  70. Wear one of those “cat in the hat” top hats.
  71. Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show.
  72. Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, “Shh, I’m trying to read!”
  73. Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can’t get scraped off.
  74. Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes.
  75. Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones.
  76. Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle.
  77. Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
  78. Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row.
  79. Stick a piece of popcorn to the end of your straw and shoot it 6 rows ahead of you. (Works even better with unpopped kernels and Juji fruits.)
  80. Use a whoopee cushion. Nuff said.
  81. Wear a top hat.
  82. Throw popcorn in the air and yell, “It’s snowing!”
  83. Go, “Oooooooooooooohhhhh!” during the kissing scenes.
  84. Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling.
  85. Bring a remote control. Complain that you can’t change the channel.
  86. Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming.
  87. Start the Wave.
  88. Pretend to be some big shot movie critic and make people to move out of their seats so you can better review the movie.
  89. Hold a Junior Mints Spitting For Distance Contest
  90. Roll eggs from the back row and see if you can have one make it all the way down…unbroken!
  91. When the movie screen shows you where the emergency exits are…run screaming down the aisle “Ain’t no way in hell I am going to be last this time!”
  92. Shout “WHOOP, THERE HE IS” every time the killer is on screen.
  93. Buy a box of Whoppers, sit down, eat some and then read the calorie count on the side of the box as if it was the most EARTH SHATTERING piece of news you have ever heard.
  94. Place a tape player under a seat in the back row….play the tape you made of you and your ex-girlfriend having sex….on the highest volume level.
  95. Right during a explosion scene, set off your own fireworks and then stand up and tell everyone around you: DAMN..THAT SURROUND SOUND IS GOOD!!!

What to do while working there:

  1. As people purchase their tickets, tell them how the movie they will see ends.
  2. Two words: Shadow puppets.
  3. Replace the “Children’s Film” with “Not So Children’s Film,” and lock all the doors.
  4. Nothing–it works for a lot of other employees.
  5. Place cell phones under seats, and then make them ring, only so you can go over to the person whose chair it’s under and yell at them.
  6. Make your own “butter” for the bastards that ridicule you.
  7. A coworker.
  8. Check everyone’s movie stubs during the movie. Six times.
  9. Start a Fight Club.
  10. Triple the price of soft drinks and the triple the amount of salt on the popcorn.
  11. Put Ex-Lax in the drinks. Lock all the doors.

* We do not condone any of your retarded idea, and if you do any of them you are solely responsible for your shenanigans.