A man has been charged with second-degree identity theft after his attempts to fool bank employees using an absurd costume were quickly spotted!
According to court reports, Joshua K. Pinney, 30, wandered in a Bank of America branch in Des Moines dressed in the bizarre and ill-fitting outfit that you can see in the pictures. If you look closely you can actually see a little bit of dumb seeping out from under the comedy bandages!
He presented the identification of Oregon man and said he needed a new debit card for a Washington Business trip. The bank manager immediately realized that the costume was part of some sort of illicit stunt and the police were called.
The man whose identification Pinney presented had an account with the Bank of America, his car had recently been stolen with his identification in it and he had flagged the account to prevent any fraudulent attempts to access it.
The court reports state that Pinney told the bank manager his business trip story and also asked him for a glass of water and requested to sit down because apparently he was in pain after suffering a recent accident. One can only assume that this accident involved him somehow tripping over his own incredible stupidity and landing squarely on his bonce!
When police arrived on the scene, Pinney made a feeble attempt to stick to the same story claiming that he was the person shown on the ID card.
One of the officers looked at the stolen ID that Pinney had handed the bank manager and asked him if he was actually trying to pass as the man in the photograph. The court documents claim that at this point Pinney hung his head and said, “I know.” Well it was about time!!
The arresting officer found Pinney’s own identification on his person as well as the Social Security card of Oregon man who had been the victim of the theft.
Then Pinney confessed that the bandages he was so stylishly sporting were not real and he had not actually been in an accident. No shit Sherlock!
He claimed that the scheme to attempt to impersonate the man and get his debit card had been concocted by his girlfriend, who he alleged was waiting outside for him when he went inside the bank. So she’s not a criminal genius either, but at least she had the good sense not to go into the bank with him!
Pinney then told police that he met his girlfriend whilst on work release from prison last year. He also told them that she was a “computer whizz” who allegedly had the know-how to open bank accounts online.
The ID and the Social Security card came into Pinney’s possession through a friend of his brother’s who had allegedly stolen them from a car in Tacoma.
Pinney was scheduled to appear in court on Thursday to face the charge of second-degree identity theft but he has failed to appear. He is probably hiding out somewhere in an equally preposterous disguise….
Source: Komo News