The happy couple and their lawyers have come up with a contract that will give Holmes $3 million a year up to $33 million for each year that she is married to Cruise, as well as a palatial home in Montecito, California, according to Life & Style Weekly. If the marriage lasts longer than eleven years, the contract becomes void and California’s community property law kicks in — giving Holmes half of Cruise’s rather sizeable fortune.

Only $3 million a year for putting up with that lunatic and bearing his child? Please. I’d ask for at least $5 million.