A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away…Well it was the 20th of September actually in Walsall, UK when a man named Ikbal Hare,35, thought his neighbor Darth Vader was getting up to no good with his girlfriend. Rather than cower in fear or give his mates in the Rebel Alliance a call, Hare gathered up the courage and went to confront the Dark Lord of the Sith with this damning accusation of infidelity.
Hare went to Vader’s house and a heated debate ensued, Vader vehemently denied messing around with Hare’s lady friend but Hare did not believe him and the two men began scuffling. Then Mrs. Vader (who had previously been busy polishing the Death Star’s many ornaments) tried to intervene, Hare swung a punch that he intended for Vader’s chiseled chin, but he missed and caught poor Mrs. Vader square in the chops.
Realizing he had committed a grave sin, Hare fled the scene. He was pursued by Darth Vader and several other people (we cannot confirm or deny if they were stormtroopers) but despite the fact that they were hot on his tail, Hare managed to escape.
Later however, Hare was arrested at his girlfriend’s house and charged with the assault.
The case was heard on Tuesday and Hare pleaded guilty to the attack. He was given an 18-month probation order and ordered to go on an anger management course.
Darth Vader was not made to attend any such anger management course, because we believe the judge was too scared to tell him anything. I’m just kidding about that bit of course, Vader is actually a guy who was formally called Mark Nokes, he’s not actually a Dark Lord, but rather someone who changed his name by deed poll many years ago to raise money for charity. Ahhhh isn’t that cute.
Source: Birmingham Mail