Slippers are a necessity for any healthy lifestyle, since any healthy lifestyle involves doing nothing from Friday 5 p.m. until Monday 9 a.m. In those few days when you’re shut up in your home watching football and Firefly re-runs, you’ll want to keep your feet warm and comfy. Not restricted, though, since you’re trying to free yourself from the chains of society. (A.K.A. be incredibly lazy.)
With these six pairs of geeky slippers, you’ll be able to relax while still rocking your style! By the way: anyone who disses Wailord is going to face my wrath.
1. Wailord Slippers
Yes, Wailord slippers are the first pair on this list. If anybody has a problem with that, then we should fight. I haven’t been in a good fight in a while, so I wouldn’t mind roughin’ it up a little bit with the guys. And, if somebody calls the police? Nobody will get in trouble - because they’ll find out that we were fighting over a pair of Wailord slippers. Ingenious! I’ll go get the hockey helmets and some medical tape just to be safe. *High-fives other moron*
2. Super Mario Bros. Mushroom Slippers
This geeky pair of slippers is themed like those mushrooms that give you an extra boost when you’re feeling down. I appreciate the design, but I do feel a little bit guilty about putting my feet on their eyes. After all they’ve done, it seems like a pretty poor way to repay them, and we don’t want a revolution. Just think: every mushroom in the kingdom purposely running into Goombas and turning them into giant monsters of destruction. Even worse: turning the walls into super walls too high for you to jump out of so you’re stuck hopping around like a moron for hours.
3. Adorable Pikachu Slippers
This geeky pair of slippers is the perfect get out of jail free card. Someone’s mad at you? Send them a pair of these in the mail, and they’ll forget all about it. The positive effect that Pikachu’s smiling face has on people is almost profound enough to be disturbing, but not as disturbing as these weird representations of iconic characters. Plus, when you’re not wearing these, you can hug them like a couple of plush toys! Two-in-one deal equals a done deal. And I learned that in business school.
4. Cthulhu Slippers Devour Your Feet
Conquer your fear of the great Cthulhu monster by wearing him on your feet! These geeky slippers will go great with any other tentacle-themed clothing that you might own, but I guess Cthulhu slippers are great for all occasions! Business casual? Check. Formal? Check. Presidential inauguration? They can’t see behind the podium anyway…
5. Adorable Domo Slippers
Domo is the epitome of softness, so it only makes sense that he would make it big in the slipper world! I would also like to take this time to tell you about a shirt I have which depicts Domo being eaten by a larger Domo wearing a panda costume, since I felt that it was a relevant point and that it would interest many of you. “Weirdo.” Don’t give me a reason to steal your slippers, friend, because I have Domo-fever. Or maybe it was hepatitis, I can’t remember. Regardless.
6. Rather Realistic Chewbacca Slippers
These Chewbacca slippers are a great addition to this list of geeky slippers, but they might be a little bit too real for me. In any case, they look like they’d feel great around your feet, and are a must-have for any true Star Wars fan! Note that the prior line was a lot of hyperbole: I’m sure there are people who are die-hard, hardcore, insane fans of the saga who don’t have these slippers, but they would be a good first step.