Yes, I know that mustard is not a verb, but I also know that mayonnaise is in fact an instrument. One needs to learn to appreciate the weirder things in life, and that’s exactly the lesson that you will learn today. You enjoy and appreciate the complex art of science? Well, if you do, then you will surely relish
mayonnaise this list of the eight greatest geeky anatomical representations. Mario, Yoshi, Megaman, and more!
1. Lightning McQueen and Mater
This right here is the reason people watch Nascar, folks. What a feeling it is to witness the crash of a car and watch its stomach fly into the faces of unsuspecting spectators, who obviously should have brought their tennis racquets as an obvious form of protection from flying organs/debris. “You’re insane.” -ly awesome, yes.
2. Mario’s Insides… More Than You Ever Needed To See
You may have never seen the inside of Mario, but you also have never seen the medical bills that this guy racks up. And for what? Peach just gets taken away every time they have a reunion, and those poor doctors have to fix the guy up every single time some moron with pudgy fingers runs him into a Goomba.
3. Anatomical Yoshi Drawing
I might be nitpicking, but there’s no way on earth that that egg is going to fit through that egg chute. “It’s the miracle of childbirth.” Yeah, if only our children gave us more lives instead of cutting them in half with their hooliganism. I would trade my little brats for some green mushrooms any day, man!
4. Anatomical MegaMan
MegaMan is a bit more intimidating when you rip his skin off, but I’m sure that I wouldn’t look like a patch of dandies if you tore off my skin either. More like A NEW SUPERHERO! Openly Bleeding Muscle Man to the rescue! The only problem: shooting spitballs at my exposed nerve endings would probably make me pass out or go into shock. Also, I would die of blood loss. “DETAILS, details, young Watson. LET US COMMENCE!”
5. Anatomical ZERO SUIT SAMUS!
Nice try. You need to learn a little something about dating and geeks.
6. My Little Boney
No, the heading was NOT meant to be suggestive. I realized that it may be construed as such after I had written it, but would not comply to the tendencies of your gutter minds and change what was already put down. That’s what the guy who wrote the article about the “Chink In The Armor” said too, and he got fired.
7. Learn The Weaknesses of Godzilla, Save Imaginary Tokyo
Allow me to let you in on a little secret: Godzilla is imaginary. Therefore, his weaknesses are imaginary, which means that he has no weaknesses. “Yeah, but he doesn’t exist.” Fear the monster, for it has no weakness. “It also has no PRESENCE IN THE UNIVERSE, YOU PEA-BRAINED DRUNK SQUIRREL.” Yeah, I kind of just wanted to link to the drunk squirrel video. The sentence wasn’t really important.
8. Geeky Anatomical LEGO Man
The average LEGO man is much more complex than he might seem at first. That’s why you just paid $50 for that Harry Potter castle that has about thirty plastic pieces in it. “Propoganda will FREE YOU.”