With all of the funnel cakes our youth is stuffing down their gullets these days, it’s a wonder we aren’t playing basketball with our own morbidly round bodies. These weird foods are made from bugs/insects/creepy-crawlies that you wouldn’t want to see on your floor, let alone in your mouth.
Hey – you’ve got to get your protein somehow, and it sure as heck isn’t going to be from those lima beans, which taste like cat vomit. At least, that’s what I’ve heard. Never tried one, never will.
1. Worm Tequila Salt
Since your tequila doesn’t taste bad enough already, why not put some ground up worms into it? This salt is a combination of chili powder and dried worm bits, a match made in heaven. Assuming everyone in heaven had had too much to drink when they decided to start matching up God’s creations. (Hint: that’s when the blobfish got created.)
2. Maggot Cupcake
The maggot cupcake was created by the geniuses over at Wageningen, which reminds me of that time I jumped off of my roof in a bat suit. “What?” The name sounds like wings, and I built myself wings before fracturing four bones in my body. Thankfully, I don’t have enough money to own a two-story house.
3. Delicious Flavors Ruined By Insects
These bug lollipops come in great flavors: banana nut, chocolate fudge, cookie dough, and creaming soda. The only issue? They have dead bugs in them. Seriously – you take a look at this and then wonder why people aren’t buying your product. Maybe it’s because you’re not marketing to the right people. I’ll take ten.
4. Starbucks Strawberry Frappuccino: Crushed Carcasses
This may not be a weird food, but the Starbucks Strawberry Frappuccino does in fact have bugs in it. Crushed carcasses, to be exact – these are used in the red dye which colors the drink. Disturbing, but not disturbing enough to stop me from guzzling these on a daily basis.
5. Namco’s Chocolate Bugs
I wanted to turn down the “ewwwww” meter by including Namco’s chocolate bugs on this list, which actually aren’t bugs. They’re just chocolate – no weird ingredients to make your insides squirm. Ha! Just kidding! Your stomach isn’t squirming, those are the worms you ate when you drank that tequila a couple of hours ago. SPOILER: they can re-connect their ground up bodies to create an even stronger version of themselves. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could imagine.
6. Swiss Insect Pizza
Switzerland is apparently not as developed as we had once thought – this guy’s expression is giving me the feeling that this isn’t a weird thing to be eating. Surely it would make sense that his face be contorted into something that looks like this. “That link didn’t even make sense.” Yeah, I know, but I just enjoy getting people to go to the troll face picture. Did you know Scarlett Johanson has a single twin? “Oooh boy. Who told this moron about the internet? This is the reason people comment “FIRST” and then get ostracized.”
Don’t comment “FIRST” on this post, because I don’t want to deal with it.