You might be asking, “how on earth is he going to come up with seven different pieces of geeky fetus art?” The answer is that
this post was a dare, and that I never turn one down there’s actually a lot of interesting content to be found in this category. And by interesting, I mean impressive with a couple drops of psychosis. Some of these are more adorable than creepy, but a lot of them are just straight-up freakish, which makes them awesome. “That’s why you say your face looks awesome!” No, my features are just very proportional and pleasing to the eye.
1. Animals In The Womb
This is an impressive series of photographical images (like there’s any other kind) which depict different types of animals in the wombs of their mothers. Yes, these are all real, so you can marvel at the beauty of nature and count it in that “time spent doing scientific research” spot on the work documentation ledger. The dolphin is my personal favorite, since it appears to be smiling, which really reflects the playful nature of the animal.
2. Superhero Fetuses Are Apparently A Thing
These superhero fetus sculptures, created by Alexandre Nicholas, are as real as the hair on my head. (I have a couple of nice wigs – this particular one is one I like to call the “circus afro.”) The Hulk and Spiderman pieces are cool, but the Batman is definitely my favorite. Not even walking yet, and he already looks like he’s ready to beat down some people and write down some names – I think the white background really adds to that effect, so perhaps the others should have been photographed in the same location.
3. I’m Just Going To Slowly Walk Away From The Hello Kitty Fetus
Folks, this is a once-in-a-lifetime sighting: a Hello Kitty fetus. Never thought you’d see one of those, huh? I am the Sherlock Holmes of the internet, friends, and if they’re is something completely useless and awesome on the web - I will find it. Read: this was probably Tim Burton’s second grade art project.
4. Real Live Fetus Looks Like The Emperor
This fetus must have made some proud parents! Doesn’t even look like a tiny person yet and it’s already a huge Star Wars fan. As far as I know, this is in fact a real ultrasound, but I also said “gullible” really slowly because somebody told me it would sound like green beans. No, this fetus that looks like The Emperor is technically not a work of art, but I like to deem it an artistic expression by the powers of nature and the influence of those many Star Wars marathons you watched during the pregnancy.
5. He Already Looks Like His Old Man Venom
Bad news: your wife has been cheating on you. Worse news: with a super villain. The likeness here is actually quite stunning, and I would say it’s a reason to go in for a second ultrasound. And a third. Actually, I am just going to keep coming until my baby no longer looks like it wants to eat the heart of Peter Parker, which could turn into a huge problem due to the social limitations of today’s culture, i.e. murder is punishable by life in prison. (The link goes to an article about a guy who could face up to ten years in prison, but I wanted to be dramatic.)
6. Cinematic Twins: The Fetus Versions
Finally! The moment we’ve all been waiting for: the chance to see our favorite cinematic twins as fetuses. I suppose that Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum weren’t always as ugly as they are now – time just didn’t treat them well. The Weasleys make me smile!
7. Shape of an Angel: Get a 3D Version of Your Fetus
Since the fact that you’re about to have a real version of your fetus to keep forever (or until it drives you insane and you kick it out of the house) isn’t enough, you should probably get this 3D creation of your baby while you still can. Before it starts waking you up every two hours crying unintelligibly for something your probably can’t give it. Not to mention – this thing is expensive too!