Gingerbread houses are fun to make, and are especially popular with the holiday season coming up soon. Sure, you and grandma may not be able to create something this epic, but you two can surely enjoy looking at these eleven epic gingerbread houses! And by us “two,” I mean just grandma, since I spilled toxic waste in my eyes in a vain attempt to become Daredevil.
1. London Bridge Gingerbread House
You may have never seen the London Bridge, but who cares? The real one is not edible, is not very colorful, and never “falls down” like it’s supposed to in the song. This giant gingerbread version? Talk about one of the most fun “Hulk Smash” moments in the history of EVER.
2. Star Wars AT-AT Gingerbread House
As you quash Rebel scum beneath your giant metal feet, which look like cartoon frogs, you can be more delicious than ever. We’re talking Johnny Depp delicious – the kind of delicious that brings God to put two P’s in your last name when just one would suffice.
3. Egyptian Sphinx Complete With Delicious Sand
This giant gingerbread house is a prime example of how putting gingerbread into a blender can prove productive. It also demonstrates the benefits of mirrors: he did half the work and still tricks many people of below-average intelligence into thinking that he was able to clone his creation and move it to an alternate universe.
4. That Man Could Fit Inside Of That House
This is the annual giant gingerbread house that shows up at Disney’s Grand Floridian resort, which I have been fortunate enough to stay at. “Is that so?” Yes – some man left his door room open and I was able to lock myself inside for three days without having to pay!
5. Firefly Serenity Gingerbread House
Despite Firefly being a wonderfully
mediocre entertaining TV series, it was canceled on TV. It, however, still thrives in the hearts of many geeks, and occasionally manifests itself as a gingerbread Serenity spaceship. The other half of the time it manifests itself as bad acid reflux.
6. The White House, Tastier Than Ever
News flash: in the biggest accomplishment of the decade, Congress almost comes to an agreement. Other news flash: Bo is now a gigantic marzipan critter who stomps on the oppressors of freedom with his massive feet.
7. My Favorite Christmas Animal: Giant Writhing Octopus
In spite of the disconcerting octopus, the undersea gingerbread house is epic. It also gives me a brilliant movie idea: Giant Blue Crab Vs. Giant Orange Lobster. My production will be the sequel to the classic Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus movie that stunned the world with its mediocrity.
8. My Pupils Are Shrinking, Folks
I find this giant gingerbread house to be extremely bright. Not bright as in “bright and cheery,” bright as in my eyes are singed and my vision is obstructed by flames. Not unlike when I have sun-staring contests with the stone statue in front of my neighbor’s driveway.
9. Gigantic Gingerbread Pagoda
As one who has traveled the world, I appreciate the Oriental architecture represented in this Pagoda gingerbread house. Very cool!
10. Epic Gingerbread Castle
I’d like to see you try to storm my epic castle of gingerbread. This is one of my favorites on the list simply because you can’t really tell that it’s made of gingerbread due to the strange (but aesthetically pleasing) spots which have been added to the walls. You won’t be able to break them down, but you could probably launch corpses into my village and kill off the peasants with disease if you so wished. But that would not pay dividends for you, since I would launch my disease-ridden peasants at you, giving your peasants the same disease you wrought unto my peasants. And, in the end, we would both lose.
11. Last But Not Least: Gingerbread Millennium Falcon
The gingerbread Millennium Falcon is last, but it is certainly not least. It’s probably most, in fact. More than the shabby shack that I made for the holidays, that’s for sure. I even cheated and used hot glue instead of frosting!