Every now and then you come across the kind of story that makes you smile from ear to ear and this is one of those very stories. Not heartfelt, or emotional, or fantastical, just plain damn funny! Remember the Romanian reporter who became a bit of a joke after he was caught faking a sandstorm – well this is even better than that!
The Chinese investigative journalism program Xi’an Up Close has become the laughing stock of the internet this week after they aired a report into the mysterious discovery made by some residents of the Liucunbu village.
These villagers were digging a well when they came across this befuddling object, which they described as fleshy, meaty and with a nose and an eye. They took it to the village elders, believing it to be some type of rare mushroom, but even the village elders had no idea what it was (probably because they weren’t around in their day!)
So the confused residents telephoned their local television station for help and were sent the services of up-and-coming young reporter Ye Yunfeng to help them find some answers!
Bless Yunfeng, as she seems genuinely interested in the villagers ‘mystery mushroom’ discovery. She begins describing the object to the camera; “this looks like a type of fungus, on both ends of which you’ll find mushroom heads. On this side, you can see what looks like a pair of lips [the giveaway perhaps] And on that side, there is a tiny hole which extends all the way back to this side. The object looks very shiny, and it feels really fleshy and meaty too.”
Yup, we’re not joking with you, nobody in the village or in the production team working on the program figured out that the object in the bucket of water that was being poked and prodded was actually a sex toy, with an artificial vagina on one end and an artificial anus on the other!
And it gets even better, they even believed that they had worked out exactly what kind of rare mushroom it was and speculated that it was a type of Lingzhi mushroom called a Taisui. Yunfeng then piped up with a fascinating bit of folklore about the Lingzhi mushroom: “When the Emperor Qin Shi Huang was on the hunt for the secret to longevity…it is said he discovered this lingzhi was the answer.” I wonder exactly what kind of longevity the emperor was looking for? WTF – you just couldn’t make this shit up!!
Strangely enough, the hypothesis that the villagers’ interesting discovery was in actual fact a rare mushroom didn’t fool everybody and several viewers who watched the report when it aired on Sunday knew exactly what they were looking at! After that, it didn’t take very long for the report to go viral – clocking up millions of views across several video-sharing sites.
The television show was mortified by the boob, (the story’s got vaginas and anuses so you might as well have one of those too) and posted this apologetic letter on their website:
“Hi everyone, one of our news reports which aired last night has made everyone laugh. This incident has been widely followed, shared and commented on. As our reporter was still very young and unwise to the ways of the world, this report has brought great inconvenience to everyone. We’d like to take this opportunity to thank everyone from the bottom of our hearts for your criticism and correction. Please forgive our oversight!”
I wonder if the guy who actually owned this sex toy knows about all the fuss it has caused. Doubt he’d have the face to own up to being its rightful owner though!
Read more: “Mystery mushroom” Which Leaves Xi’an Villagers Befuddled Turns Out to be Artificial Vajayjay (Via Shanghaiist)