Archive for the ‘Television’ Category
The Bachelor Comes Clean on Ellen
The Bachelor, Brad Womack, clears up a few misconceptions on Ellen today. Earlier in the week, Ellen interviewed DeAnna Pappas, one of Brad’s two remaining girls. She was the favored to “win”. On this show Ellen repeatedly called Brad a jerk. She later felt bad for having called him a name. So she had him on to apologize and give him the opportunity to set things straight.
The biggest thing America was misled on was that Brad had the producers fly DeAnna’s Father out so that he could propose to her. In actuality, the producers took it upon themselves to make sure her father was there, just in case. That definitely takes away a few negative marks from my book.
The other thing Brad said that he really regretted saying was when he told DeAnna that “tomorrow would be a good day.” He said he got caught up in the moment and did not mean to mislead her. Well, mislead he did, but everyone is entitled to a few mistakes, right?
I think it’s time we move on and leave this poor guy alone.
New show on VH1 in January ‘American Crackhead’!
Actually the name of the show is ‘Celebrity Rehab’ but we kid you not, this show might very well be the worst idea ever!
The basics are a reality show about ‘celebrities’ that go to rehab.. you think it sounds bad, wait there is more.
The celebrities signed on for the show so far are; Daniel Baldwin, female wrestler Chyna, American idol finalist Jessica Sierra, Jeff Conaway from Grease, Brigitte Nielsen and porn star Mary Carey!
Unfortunately the group will get help from celebrity doctor Dr Drew Pinsky, and not Dr. Kevorkian as we had hoped.
We can only ask that you all pray that this crap never airs!
Simpsons magic makes Britney Spears pretty!
Turns out that Matt Groening and the people behind The Simpsons has picked Britney Spears to become a Simpsons character once again.
Last time Britney was ‘on the show’ was 10 years ago and Britney was an innocent teenager.
This time around it feels more like bringng a drunken dockworker into a cast for Les Miserable.
I guess the only thing we can hope for is that her character mirrors life and she gets drunk and marries Barney, only to have 2 children, divorce and have an affair with Milhouse.
Well, I guess we will just have to see. The only thing that we can be sure of is that the character will be a vast improvement over reality!
Viral Tuesday: Charles Barkley and Bjork
You can always count on Saturday Night Live to have one really funny skit per week, and this week’s episode was no exception. Here, a play on Sundance’s Iconoclasts featuring a supposed dialogue between sports legend Charles Barkley and Bjork. I brought my wheel!
Bring Back Rosie!
OK, I admit it. I watch The View. No, not for the insipid interviews, for the fighting. In the past year, the all-female panel of co-hostesses have fed the gluttonous need for screaming and yelling that have been absent in my life ever since The Jerry Springer Show was castrated years ago. Battling divas Elisabeth Hasselbeck, of Survivor fame, and Rosie O’Donnell, of cunnilingus fame, week-in and week-out went at it like two prisoners fighting over the last cigarette in the pack. And then this happened….
…and Rosie was no more. And The View has been in a steady state of estrogen-driven decline ever since. The show, which was once controversial and sometimes even painful to watch has become stagnant and boring with Whoopi Goldberg at the helm and Sherri Shepherd providing the latest from the Gospel Corner. Every episode now contains about 10 minutes of the girls telling the audience why they love each other, as if any of us are to believe that outside the world of television Barbara Walters would take time out of her schedule of dating world politicos to ever sit down and talk smack with Sherri from the Block. Not likely, folks.
The worst part of all, though, is that there is hardly anyone to keep Elisabeth from spouting her uberRepublican bullshit day in and day out without a smack down. Whereas Rosie would actually try and make the mouthpiece think (and thereby make the audience think), Whoopi settles for a complete dismissal of Elisabeth’s opinions based on the view that Elisabeth is too young to be correct. That’s a weak argument if I’ve ever heard one, and the fact that these dismissals are almost always followed by hugs and kisses on Elisabeth’s pink parts to make sure no one gets her feelings hurt is even more disgusting. It’s trite. It’s boring. And I guarantee that without some sore of major re-tooling, it will prove to be ratings death once women and gay men get over the novelty of seeing Whoopi on television.
It was reported today that Elisabeth will be leaving the show on Novemeber 8 or 9 to prepare to birth her 2nd soldier for Bush. Maybe Barbara should take this time to re-evaluate and maybe even bring Rosie back. It would be nice to see her face and hear her voice. Maybe take this time to get rid of Sheperd, too, and bring on Ann Coulter. That’s one dyke that I’d love to see Rosie tear into.
Because really, does any average American need hugs to start her day off right? Nope, she needs bloodshed, and I hope that during this maternity leave, The View will once again find its claws.
The CW Gossip Girl
Bloggers beware! There’s a new CW series set to blow the doors off of how we mavens of mischief operate behind the celebrity scenes. Gossip Girl, the newest prime time drama sensation, chronicles a mysterious off-camera blogger monikered, naturally, Gossip Girl. She provides the voice-over narration for all the drama that goes on behind closed doors at an exclusive Manhattan prep school where the teenagers function (to put it lightly) as adults and the adults are as scandalous as their younger counterparts. Just like we at BuzzPatrol.com follow all the latest scoop on socialites like Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie, Gossip Girl follows the heartbreaks, binge drinking fests, and hot hot HOT romances of frenemies Serena van der Woodsen and Blair Waldorf. Be prepared for cat fights and controversy galore as the writers explore such issues as teenage drinking and drug use. The drama doesn’t let up, and the acting never fails. Gossip Girl is the new O.C.!
What really links the show to real life is the use of the computer and Blackberry medium that is the rage with today’s teen set. When you want the 4-1-1 on Britney’s latest meltdown, where do you go? To BuzzPatrol, natch. And where does Jenny go to find out all the dirty dish on school womanizer and local skeeze Chuck? Well, to Gossip Girl, of course. Rarely found without a mobile in hand, these kids are linked up, tuned in, and ready for drama.
So, if hot guys, sexy girls, hit music (like Peter, Paul, and Bjorn), and cutting edge tech are your things, then you need to log on to Gossip Girl on The CW, Wednesday nights at 9PM Eastern.
Sarah Silverman Licks a Dog’s Butt
I was going to try and come up with some sort of clever title for this entry, but you know, the topic of licking your pet’s ass just doesn’t lend itself to puns. That, and I am still fighting off a series of dry heaves from watching this video.
First abortions. Now bestiality. What do you guys think could POSSIBLY be next? All I know is I’m having my grandma put into hiding just in case Sarah gets horny…
Gayest. Thing. Ever.
Tonight’s the night for beauty and the bitch with the start of a new season of America’s Next Top Model on The CW. Tyra will be bravely leading her troop of vapid vixens into this season’s theme — the FUTURE. <cue ominous space music>
So yeah, that’s pretty gay in and of itself.
Wanna know what’s gayer than that? THIS! The Fantasy Model game where you pick your roster of models each week to gain points! It’s like Fantasy Football for the same-sex persuaded set, and I think it’s just awesome. This week, I have my money on…
Ambreal (the sassy black girl)
Heather (the mentally ill girl), and
Chantal (the obviously pretty girl).
Who are your picks?
And check out the FUNNIEST ANTM recaps here every Monday!
Sarah Silverman’s Abortions
Leave it to Sarah Silverman to explore the one topic in comedy that just doesn’t get enough attention: ABORTION.
In the following clip from season 2 of The Sarah Silverman Program, the self-proclaimed Jewy comedienne takes a turn on the Seinfeld-inspired montage with a look back on her past abortions, all set to the melancholy sounds of Green Day’s “Time of Your Life.”
Pro-lifers, get your engines started!
Sherri Shepherd Was a Bad Choice
She might be funny, but she’s no member of MENSA, that’s for damned sure.
Vying for the position of dumbest co-host on The View (you hang in there, Hasselbeck!), Shepherd today gave the audience a twofer by announcing that she does not believe in evolution and that she isn’t sure if the world is flat or not.
WOW. Just wow. Don’t believe it? Check it out:
Video: Shepherd Shows How Little She Knows
You know, I can almost forgive the evolution thing, since some people (especially conservative Christians) just get really ignorant when it comes to this topic. Of course we’re talking about the same mouth-breathers who also refuse to believe that dinosaurs roamed the earth or that man actually walked on the moon, but I digress.
The fact that she doesn’t know that the world is not, indeed, flat is the single dumbest thing I’ve heard since Ann Coulter called Clinton a closet homo. But then, I guess I can understand her confusion since proof of the earth’s spherical nature is a relatively recent discovery, being that Ptolemy made it in the 1st century AD.
Mario Cantone isn’t looking like a bad replacement now, is he, Barbara?
