Celebrity Gossip, Humor, Entertainment, Hollywood UK news

Joe Simpson, pimp/father/manager of the decidely un-dynamic duo Jessica and Ashlee Simpson, has decided to speak out to Us Weekly about his younger daughter’s decision to have a nose job:

[sic] there was a real problem with her breathing and that was cured.

Yeah. Right.  And Goldie Hawn had her lips done because she wasn’t medically able to give good enough head.  I think not.  Joe knows, and I know, and everyone in the whole world knows that Ashlee just wanted to be “pretty” like her older sister.  And she probably thought it would help her hold on to her fruity boytoy Pete Wentz of Fall Out Boy. 

Guess which celebrity has the Crypt Keeper appendages?

 Find out after the jump!

Isn’t that exactly what this picture looks like?

This looks exactly like what I pictured the boogeyman as when I was a child, trying to climb in through my bedroom window to kill my parents and steal my G.I. Joes (hey, I was a kid…I had weird fears).  Except I never pictured the boogeyman to be so…what’s the word?  Oh yes — white.

Keira Knightly puts the tabloid media in its place, in an effort to dispel rumors that she has an eating disorder and to take yet another opportunity to let working class Americans know just how rough life is as a jet-setting millionairess:

I hate red carpet events; I absolutely hate them.  I don’t like the fact that people write, “Oh you look like crap” in print. Or “I don’t like your arms.”

I’m not Wonder Woman.  I have self-esteem problems.  Everybody does.  You know, skinny people are allowed to feel shit about themselves.

And everywhere he goes…people know how much Paris is payin’.  (Sha-dum, sha-dum.)

Paris Hilton has taken the mission that God put her own while she served time in prison to a whole new level: rescuing hot men from poverty!   Paris met the Alex Vaggo, a Swedish tourist, at a Hollywood youth hostel.  The New York Post reports:

We all met Alex on the street near the USA Hostel in Hollywood. The hostel is $27 a night and they shove in six people to a room. But in the morning there are all the pancakes you can eat. Our friend introduced him to Paris and she immediately took a liking to him. He’s very hot. He’s living much better now.

Nicole Ritchie was photographed in Hawaii this week committing a big pregnancy no-no: making baby stew in the hotel jacuzzi.

There are, of course, going to be conflicting views as to whether or not a pregnant woman should lounge in a hottub because of chance of increased risk of birth defects due to high heat.  But one thing I have to wonder is:  why would you WANT to get into a hotel hottub with a baby on board?  You might as well have 20-30 strangers hook up in your bathtub, leave behind a fair amount of DNA, and then take a nice, long soak with your baby!

Britney Spears may be just as crazy as Whitney Houston, but her ex-bodyguard sure as hell ain’t Kevin Coster.  That’s for damned sure.

Tony Barretto, or Fat Tony as he has been monikered in the press, is about the world’s shittiest bodyguard alive.  First, he makes a declaration to the court that he had concerns for Britney Spears’ drug use and nudity around her 1- and 2-year old sons.  And now the glorified bouncer is selling his story to every reporter with a pencil and a $20 bill.

Much to the dismay of Oscar de la Hoya’s lawyers, who have vehemently denied their client’s involvement in cross-dressing pictures being splattered across the Internet, another pic has found its way to X17online.

They’re claiming it’s Oscar again.  What do you think?

I think he should stay away from fishnets.

The stripper in the pic, “Milana,” will be doing an interview tomorrow night on Entertainment Tonight.  This should be interesting…