BuzzPatrol

Sources have revealed today the reasons behind Britney’s loss of her two sons, Sean Preston and Jayden James, to their gangstalicious father, K-Fed.  She reportedly:

• did not meet with a drug counselor, as ordered
• did not submit to drug testing, as ordered
• did not enroll in parenting classes, as ordered
• did not sign the judge’s order, as well, ordered
• continued to drive her children around without a valid California license, as ordered

It’s official.  Britney spears has lost custody of her children to Kevin Federline, who has been granted 100% physical custody of both Sean Preston and Jayden James beginning Wednesday until “further order of the court.” 

While it is easy to want to feel sorry for Britney, since it’s sad when any mother loses her children, it wouldbe much more worth the effort to shed a tear for the little ones who are now in the custody of Vanilla Ice K-Fed.  I’m not one to say things like “They don’t have a chance,” but at this point, who really thinks they do?

I’m not saying that the Church of Scientology had anything to do with it, but…

David Hans Schimdt, Sultan of Sleaze (how’s that for a eulogy), was found dead in his home this week after trying to extort $1 million from Tom Cruise for photos he had from the famed Scientologist’s wedding to child bride Katie Holmes. 

Point is:  Don’t piss off the religious freaks. 

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go take a shower and get rid of some body thetans.

More…

Sorry Kanye, but this week’s coveted ”Biggest Douchebag Award” goes to none other than Diddy (or Sean John or Puffy Daddy or P. Diddy or Asswipe or whatever he’s going by these days).  According to sources:

A witness outside downtown hot spot GoldBar the other night said, “[Diddy] walked right up to the door girl with four other people in his crew. When she asked him how many people he was with, [he] just called her a ‘fucking bitch’ and opened the velvet rope and let himself through.

It seems that Hollywood stars will stop at nothing to protect the sanctity of marriage, and this week is no exception.

First up, we have Nicole Ritchie and Joel Madden marrying.  I’d say “awww,” but I’m much more inclined to say, “it’s about time,” seeing as how she’s about 13 months pregnant with his spawn.  It’s so nice to see a marriage of necessity in these troubled times.

Rachael Ray, famous foodie, talk show host, and inventor of how to pig out around the world for only $40 a day, has issues….with her weight.

So what does she do about it?  Starve herself?  Work out at the gym maniacally?  Throw up after every panini?  Nope.  She dresses to flatter her figure.  From von Furstenberg wrap dresses to flared jeans, she finds the clothes that flatter and shows off her size 6 curves.

And for that, we tip our hats to you, Rachael. 

Keira, put down the rice cake and take notes.

(Source)

Who has the worst mane this week?

Is it perpetually high Britney Spears with her chocolate brown weave of doom?

(”Cheetos….I must have Cheeeeetos!”)

Or is it Willem Dafoe Rumer Willis and her damaged blond bird’s nest?

Vanessa Hudgens made her first post-scandal appearance at the US Weekly Hot Hollywood party for “Power Players” last night wearing this:

How embarassing. This is the first time we’ve seen Vudge in weeks — well, seen her clothed anyway — and she wears a dress that’s already been filmed before. Don’t remember it? Well, then I guess you didn’t log as many hours in front of Lifetime’s Golden Girls marathons as I have then, because this dress is dead-on Blanche Devereaux. I fully expect her to try to pick up a sailor while simultaneously eating cheesecake and huffing, “Rose!”