Archive for the ‘Entertainment’ Category
Golden Globes Cancelled
I’m sure you are all very disappointed that you are missing the opportunity to be bored to tears for 3-4 hours next Sunday. I know, it is a real downer. However, there will still be parties that will hopefully circulate some interesting photos of celebrities. We hope.
I will, however, miss the red carpet portion. I love to see what everyone is and isn’t wearing. Although it seems most of the stars have been pretty conservative at the last few award shows. Maybe it is because people like me criticize them too much. Who knows? Who cares?
The Bachelor Comes Clean on Ellen
The Bachelor, Brad Womack, clears up a few misconceptions on Ellen today. Earlier in the week, Ellen interviewed DeAnna Pappas, one of Brad’s two remaining girls. She was the favored to “win”. On this show Ellen repeatedly called Brad a jerk. She later felt bad for having called him a name. So she had him on to apologize and give him the opportunity to set things straight.
The biggest thing America was misled on was that Brad had the producers fly DeAnna’s Father out so that he could propose to her. In actuality, the producers took it upon themselves to make sure her father was there, just in case. That definitely takes away a few negative marks from my book.
The other thing Brad said that he really regretted saying was when he told DeAnna that “tomorrow would be a good day.” He said he got caught up in the moment and did not mean to mislead her. Well, mislead he did, but everyone is entitled to a few mistakes, right?
I think it’s time we move on and leave this poor guy alone.
Spawn Alert: J-Lo and Marc Anthony
We here at BuzzPatrol have been given the chance to use the latest in DNA projective technology to suggest to the readers exactly what Jennifer Lopez’s and Marc Anthony’s much-rumored new baby will look like. I hope you haven’t eaten recently…
The horror, after the jump…
It Runs In the Family!
Jamie Lynn Spears, adorably pint-sized junior of the Spears Clan, decided to use some grown up words to fight back with a woman who was verbally harassing Big Sis outside a Malibu restaurant. The woman, who has yet to be identified, decided to attack Brit, yelling, “Nobody wants you in this neighborhood! You’re making the neighborhood unsafe!”
Jamie Lynn’s response? “Then get the f**k out of the neighborhood!”
Pretty talk for a Nickelodeon star, huh? Maybe she and Vanessa Hudgens can go on a family values tour this winter, promoting foul language and nudity. I’m sure parents all around the US would be proud.
In all honesty, though, I was proud of Lil’ Sis. If someone was attacking my sister, I’d probably punch her in the throat. So, I think that merely yelling back showed an awesome amount of restraint. After all, these celebs can’t even go to the bathroom anymore without a swarm of paps asking questions about smell and consistency outside the stall. It’s a crippling existence, and I, for one, thank God every day for my relative anonymity when I see videos like the ones below.
I wonder how long it will take until the SAG tries to push stalking laws for paparazzi through Congress?
Video of the now-infamous exchange between Jamie Lynn and the nutjob in Malibu AFTER THE JUMP….
PETA Blows
Yeah, I said it. PETA sucks. The organization is run by a bunch of blow-hard, washed-up celebs with nothing to do but bitch at people for wearing fur and eating KFC. You know what? I think fur is soft. And I think KFC is yummy. So stick that in your pipes and smoke it, ya big bunch of hippies.
Gah.
PETA, never an organization to miss an opportunity to grasp on to a media headline, has issued a statement to Kevin Federline via a letter President Ingrid E. Newkirk (you just know she has hairy pits), saying:
For the sake of your children and the animals who are at risk while in Ms. Spears’ custody, we hope that you will do the right and best thing for all involved and pursue a custody order for the animals so that your sons can continue to have the company of the animals they’ve grown to adore.
(Source)
Give me a f***ing break. And while you’re at it, give Britney one, too. Dimes to dollars, those dogs have nannies that make most middle class childcare workers look like that British bitch who liked to shake babies. Britney’s a billionaire. I’m sure those dogs have nicer homes than I do. Homes that allow them to roam freely and do what it is dogs do best: eat, sleep, and lick themselves. You know why that’s what they do best? BECAUSE THEY ARE DOGS, NOT PEOPLE.
Christ Almighty. I am all for loving your pets, and I’m a dog man myself, but there comes a point when your “mission” becomes a joke. And I do believe PETA has hit that point.
Give the girl a rest already. She’s got enough on her plate, without you wondering if one of the courses is veal.
Freaks.
Milla Jovovich Is Giving Birth
…apparently, to an entire litter of children.
Seriously, how many kids does she HAVE in there? 10? 12? She doesn’t need to give birth in a hospital. She needs to birth these kids in a box under the stairs and wait for kindly neighbors to come and pick out which ones they like the best.
Personally, I always take the runt.
Jovovich, now 8 months pregnant and likely to drop any day now, says she has no idea how she put on 70 pounds in the past 4 months, reports the Daily Mail:
It’s unbelievable how quickly it all happened. All I did was eat three bagels every morning with butter, peanut butter and jelly all over them, a few boxes of Krispy Creme donuts for lunch and boom! I’m tipping the scale at 195!
That’s all? That is basically the same diet plan that John Goodman has been on since his days on Roseanne. Yeah, I can’t believe she got fat either. It’s SUCH a mystery.
Anyway, best to Mila and her pound puppies. I hope they all come out with shiny coats and wet noses!
Hump Day Quickies
Here’s a slew o’ links to start your October off right, if you’re into that sort of thing:
Vanessa Hudgens is ironic (Drunken Stepfather)
When Britney Spears thinks you’re off-balanced and creepy… (D-Listed)
Eva Longoria and that guy from Not Another Teen Movie have a sex video (Funny or Die)
And now that we have your attention, Britney Spears also has a sex tape (Egotastic)
Clay Aiken is fat…and gay…don’t forget the ‘gay’ part (Fatback and Collards)
I TOLD you Brokeback Mountain should have won (Pajiba)
Some guy wastes his nudity on Nic Cage (A Socialite’s Life)
J.J. Abrams gives net-theorists a new pic to jerk off over for the next month (1-18-08)
And finally, after the jump, the trailer for Guillermo del Toro’s The Orphanage. I’m already scared.
Dear Lindsay
Dear Lindsay,
You are mean. And I don’t like you anymore. You are not my friend. I don’t want to be your friend. You are a mean girl.
Sincerely not your friend,
Frankie Muniz
And that’s about the maturity level I feel a celebrity has when he takes the time out of his busy schedule of filming Agent Cody Banks 37: The Medicare D Scandal to bash another movie star who is currently attempting a recovery in rehab. Muniz took time about at the Us Magazine Hot Hollywood Party to huff and puff:
“[Lindsay] is going to come back an even bigger celebrity than she ever was — and that sucks! Her last four movies have failed miserably, but she’s still going to have a $10 million paycheck. As a young actor, you have to mature very fast in an adult business…and there aren’t enough people who say ‘no.’ When Lindsay was pulled over for the second time for a DUI, nobody said, ‘I’ll never work with her again.’ It’s ridiculous to me.”
Jealous much, Malcolm? It seems to me that someone who’s last major film role was as a video geek in the straight-to-bargain bin horror flick Stay Alive shouldn’t judge too harshly an actress who has stood beside the likes of Jane Fonda, Meryl Streep, and Robert Altman. There’s a reason she makes $10 million a movie; when she’s sober, she’s a pretty darned good little actress. And like it or not, talent is what ultimately fills the seats.
Ugh, where is Jane Kaczmarek when you need her? Sounds like Malcolm needs a time out.
(Source)
Why, Y’all
Sources have revealed today the reasons behind Britney’s loss of her two sons, Sean Preston and Jayden James, to their gangstalicious father, K-Fed. She reportedly:
- did not meet with a drug counselor, as ordered
- did not submit to drug testing, as ordered
- did not enroll in parenting classes, as ordered
- did not sign the judge’s order, as well, ordered
- continued to drive her children around without a valid California license, as ordered
And that’s it. Britney lost her kids ,because just as she wouldn’t heed the advice of her mother, she also would not heed the orders of a judge. She is just the latest in the string of celebretards who think their money and modicum of talent places them beyond the arm of the law.
And then tonight, on the eve of losing custody of her kids, this photo was taken of Brit out and about:
I guess one day when little Sean Preston and Jayden James have their own E! True Hollywood Stories, they can point to Mama’s smile as the turning point in their downward spirals.
This story makes me physically sick. And so does Britney Spears.
Brit Loses The Kids
It’s official. Britney spears has lost custody of her children to Kevin Federline, who has been granted 100% physical custody of both Sean Preston and Jayden James beginning Wednesday until “further order of the court.”
While it is easy to want to feel sorry for Britney, since it’s sad when any mother loses her children, it wouldbe much more worth the effort to shed a tear for the little ones who are now in the custody of Vanilla Ice K-Fed. I’m not one to say things like “They don’t have a chance,” but at this point, who really thinks they do?
Maybe the Queen of Crazy will get her shit together now, follow the court orders to get drug tested and attend parenting classes, and disappear from the Hollywood scene altogether. Her prime has passed, her new music is abysmal, and it’s time we all let her sail off into the sunset, hopefully with the eventual return of both her kids and her sanity.
