I will preface this article with a simple statement: this stuff is weird. I’m just going to let everyone know up front that they may never see some of their favorite game characters the same way ever again. Video game characters don’t always translate well when you bring them into the real world, and oftentimes you end up with an abomination on your hands. These seven creepy representations of iconic video game characters are some of the weirdest you’ve seen. Ever.
Note: if there are even weirder depictions, don’t tell me about them, because I will tear out my eyes.
1. Real Life Sonic Gathers a Ring
Creepy hedgehog? Check. Red eyes? Check. Human-like hands? Check. Everything in this picture is out of whack – what kind of hedgehog has knees, and what kinds of knees bend that way? I can answer that: broken knees, or the knees of that double-jointed contortionist that I saw at the traveling circus.
Sonic looks as if he’s taunting you. Go on – I dare you to touch the ring. Touch it. As soon as you touch it, I promise I won’t turn into a giant demon frog and swallow you whole.
2. Sonic Holding A Ring And Stretching His Face
How does he get his face to look like that? And why does he only have four fingers? I feel like this was an attampt to draw Sonic gone wrong, and that it wasn’t intended to be as weird as it turned out to be. First of all, sonic never opens his mouth like that, and second of all, he never has two distinct eyes. Ever. It’s always one giant eye covered by a fold of skin.
3. Sonic Really Only Has One Eye
This is a great comic by Patrick Alexander, and it supports my theory of Sonic being a cyclops. It also reminds me of a different comic where Sonic appears to have pink eye, and then kirby pops out, making Mario pee himself. Okay, it didn’t explicitly say that Mario peed himself, but it was implied. I know I would have.
4. Real Life Mario is a Freak
What would you do if you saw this guy on the street? If the answer is anything but “run as fast as you can and start vomiting” then you are this guy. This is you. Get used to it, because no sort of plastic surgery is going to take the creepy out of you. You can take a man away from the creeps, but you can’t take the creeps out of the man.
5. Mario Rides a Giant Lizard
Think about it. This is what you are giving to your kids. (Besides genetic disadvantages in terms of sex appeal.) A middle aged plumber riding a dinosaur and stomping on giant mushrooms. I will never be able to cuddle with my plush Yoshi at night ever again. ”You sleep with a plush Yoshi? How old are you?” I never said I sleep with a plush Yoshi – let’s go do something stupid so that society will perceive me as more manly.
6. Mario With a Disturbing Pair of Moobs
If the scraggly beard and blemished face weren’t enough to classify this abomination as a creepy video game character, check out the misshapen, disproportionate, oddly positioned legs on this guy. It would be painful to watch this thing try to walk, but we would much rather watch it stare at its little mushrooms. And by that, I mean make comments about his man boobs like I do when I go to the mall with my friends.
7. Link is Stealing Peoples’ Hair
This picture is incredibly weird, but it gets even weirder if you stare at it for a long time. If you don’t blink, you’ll see a flash of a close-up on Link’s face. The word “love” is written in both of his eyes. It is also written on his heart, for he yearns for the Princess Zelda. In the mean time, however, he has no problem running like an idiot and stealing the hair of villagers so that he can be the creep that he has always wanted to be.