5 Women of The Geeky Realm That I’d Like To Date

We geeky types watch TV, play video games, and spend hours on the computer, but real life interaction is not an area that we’re known to excel in. Thankfully, others have recognized this need and have crafted plenty of jaw-dropping, fictional women, which they have stuffed in books, movies, and video games for us to enjoy. These five women of the geeky realm are ones that I would like to date, and many of them come from video games. (These so-called “video games” make it easy for the designers to skip that whole “human imperfection” thing and start creatin’ us some beautiful women with rough and tumble personalities.)

1. Samus Aran: Fighter of Metroids, Wearer of Blue Spandex

geeky women I'd like to date

Pros:  

Samus Aran is the perfect combination of femininity and guns. She’s packed with plenty of exploding bombs, blasters, and armor, but she conceals a model-esque figure beneath her defense. (This is not metphorical, this is literal.) One minute, your girlfriend is saving you from giant man-eating dragons, and the next minute she’s a beautiful woman. They don’t call it a “Zero Suit” for nothing, guys.

Cons:

While Samus has the ability to save you from your worst nightmares, she could very well become your worst nightmare. She comes home, and you’ve been waiting all day to take her out to her favorite restaurant go out with the guys to the steak house.  You let her know that you’ll be gone for the rest of the evening, and that’s when your house burns down and you find yourself missing a couple of limbs.  Whoops.

2. Zelda: Princess, May Have a Dual Personality Disorder

geeky women I'd like to date funny

Pros:

There are plenty of good things to say about Zelda. She’s a princess, so you have a huge potential for inheritance and getting the cash.  She’s also beautiful, has magical powers, and is cheating on you with Link prepares wonderful meals of the Gerudo Tribe which she hunts during the day. Not a bad woman for a man to come home to!

Cons:

Zelda has this strange habit of turning into a completely different person and calling herself Sheik. Not a big deal, except this Sheik persona has insane ninja skills and throws knives at the couch. And at anyone who may be sitting on that couch. And if I can’t sit on the couch for most of the day, we’re going to have a problem, which will either end with me trying to pull a knife out of my arm or with my dead body. In either case, things end badly for me.

3. Princess Leia: Incognito Sister, Wears Fashionable Slave Chains

geeky women I'd like to date funny

Pros:

One of the great things about Princess Leia is that, after that burst of fame where her “slave chains” style was the talk of the town, she wears them everywhere. So, the party is “business casual?” I think this slave princess outfit should do the trick.  Oh, it’s “formal dress?”  What dress is formal than not wearing one? Am I right?

Cons:

Luke had that horrible experience of finding that Leia was his sister, so you just never know. With all that’s going on, she could be your sister. Or even your mom! SHE COULD BE YOU! Also, that double bun hairstyle is so 400 B.C., and it needs to go. That looks like something I would do in high school to hide the fact that I was using earbuds.  Or, what I would do if it was my goal to be shoved in a locker and fed moldy bananas for a couple of weeks.

4. Princess Peach: Mario Had His Chance, Floats Like Mrs. Poppins

geeky women I'd like to date

Pros:

We know right off the bat that Peach would be an optimal choice for child-care, since her parasol screams Mrs. Poppins. (No, really – do you know how long I had to starve that thing before it would shut up?)  Also, it would be easier to get Peach to go out with you than you might think – Mario’s been dragging his feet since the 80′s, and it seems like their affiliations have only led to a long series of kidnappings that seems to lead the relationship to a dark place. It’s time for a real man to take the stage.

Cons:

She seems to have the intellectual capabilities of a sack of potatoes. A rather dull sack of potatoes, at that. Honestly – how many times do you have to be taken by a giant turtle before you hire guards that aren’t talking mushrooms? Lay off the hallucinogenics, girl, and straighten out your life. At least carry some pepper spray or something.

5. Cortana

geeky women I'd like to date

Pros: 

Cortana, unlike some of the women on this list, is intellectually stimulating.  She’s always there on the intercom when you need her, and her holographic self is in pretty good physical shape. Her voice is rather comforting, and she would make a great replacement for your mom’s broken baby monitor. Also, she can’t ever walk out on you, because she is artificial intelligence.

Cons:

She’s nothing more than AI with a pretty body, so you will never make any kind of emotional or physical connection. Seems like a metaphorical dead end on the tollway-filled detour of life to me.

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About JackKieffer

Jack is a gadget geek who loves writing about the latest in technology and design. When he’s not working on his site, Cool Gizmo Toys, or guest blogging, Jack is a full-time student who loves quirky items related to mustaches and bacon.